Lucy is that neighbor. She swears when she’s outside. She’s an irritable person although I know she never intended to be. It doesn’t take a lot. Panty hose popping leaving a run from hip to knee. Running late to the car those smooth stylish shoes sliding one way, her papers the other way. “DAMMIT! Son of a BITCH!” See, there it is. Her mother never swore. The older she was getting the more unnatural Lucy thought her mother had to be. Lucy, however, swears like a popcorn popper, intermittent, rapid fire, or the alley dog barking. It’s never ladylike if swearing in a ladylike manner is possible. Maybe if you whispered it but then what would be the point?
She opened the door of her pick up making a mess of getting behind the wheel in a skirt. The skirt could be carbon dated so she hoped dust wouldn’t poof off of it when she sat down for her appointment today. She was trying for a customer service job involving mechanical and safety items which she actually liked talking about. Although she made it a point to not talk to people in general she felt her knowledge would get her the job.
Lucy sat stiffly in the small entry when she was called in for her interview. They talked generalities for a while. Her interviewer was young with baby cheeks and that eager to be part of the company look of the naïve.
” So tell me how would you handle a call if the customer was getting upset?”
“I would tell them I understood that they were unhappy but if they wanted to get a resolution they would have to stay on the phone like any real adult and work with me.”
” Alright, if a customer requests an item and it is not in stock what would you say to end the conversation?”
“Repeating to me over and over that you need that item isn’t going to make it appear out of thin air. I will call you when it’s in.”
Those baby cheeks were twitching which Lucy found fascinating.
“Yes, I see, our last question is how would you handle a disagreement with a fellow employee?”
“I would speak directly to them about it and let them know that if they had any other issues with me we could meet after work and settle it for good.”
“Lucy, thank you for coming in. We will call you.”
Low and behold they did call and Lucy was hired three weeks later. Thank god for corporations with lots of paperwork piles and people in remote cities doing the hiring.
And Lucy’s response to being hired, “Fuckin A!”